I followed an artist on Instagram and when he posted this, I suddenly felt what he was going through when he turned 23 as well. Over the weekend, I turned 23 and I couldn’t help but to reflect on how far I’ve come. Don’t get me wrong, I am truly blessed to have been surrounded with amazing people who showered me with so much love. My heart is filled with so much blessings and love ; no words could describe how overwhelmed I felt.
I have to admit that if you were ask 21-year-old me, I would have told you that I’ll never be able to make it this far. When I was 21, my heart was somewhat hollow. It was pumping blood, but it wasn’t really capable of loving. I would also have told you that my soul was terrible damaged where I didn’t know how to fix myself. I flew to different places where I would have little breakdowns at empty train stations/beaches/airports or would sit in a cathedral/church silently saying “God, I don’t know what to do anymore.” Long story short, my close friends and family could see how much I was going through and in my own ways, I managed to mend myself back together. Unskillfully, of course. I’m still not fully put together but I’m still learning. I still have yet to master the art of forgiveness and love. I must say, along the way I’ve mustered enough courage and strength to mentally tell myself :
“It’s okay, Win. At the count of 3, time to hoist yourself back up, sew the wounds and be a soldier. It’s you and I, baby girl. You got this.”
I admit that half of the time, it was (still is) tough believing in myself due to the level of insecurity and uncertainty. This year turning 23, I patted the left side of my chest where my heart is underneath and celebrated a little victory for pulling through. I’ve been reminded how blessed and loved I am. In the past 12 months, I’ve let go of people & things that don’t matter to me anymore, met great people and surrounded myself with people that mean the world to me. It’s been a rollercoaster ride and I’m still learning. So I guess, it’s not too bad, huh? 🙂
PS : Thank you from the bottom of my heart to everyone who took the time to wish me (be it in person, over the phone, text etc.) Thank you for all the singing, cake, laughter, fun, hugs & gift. Thank you for showering me so much love and I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve you. You mean the world to me. Thank you ♥