Warm Strawberries & Silent Prayers

The picture above was taken after being on the bus for almost an hour only to realised that I didn't get off at the right stop and I got off the wrong bus stop, walked 30 minutes until I decide to wait at another bus stop. Then I got on another bus, got off the right stop, walked for another 40 minutes and I finally reached the beach. Basically, I got lost in another country and my phone didn't have enough data to check anything. 

 

I was looking through all the pictures (polaroids, printed photos & the digital ones) and for every piece of memory that comes with them, I'm thankful. 2017 has taught so much about love in any kind of relationship ; even the relationship with myself. People have been asking how do I do it ; how am I still whole after watching me fall and tear myself apart. So here's what I wrote in my travel journal while I watched the waves gently hug the shore while I bury my toes in the warm loose sand, eating that box of strawberries : –


"Note to self :

You're at a tender age where life is viciously harsh. Some scars that are within you still sting from time to time. Some scars are sewn shut by your horrible sewing skills that makes them look uneven and jagged. But let me tell you that it is okay. Your best friends and family may not have seen you entirely at your worst where you know your healing mechanism somehow is so broken and you don't know how to fix yourself anymore.

There comes a night where your soul falls apart and you can feel yourself crumbling. It is going to be the toughest night you have to survive through. Everything within you feels hollow ; empty. Your hands are going to tremble because you're terrified. Your insecurities have all awaken and have began tearing you apart ; eating you alive.  You're then forced to face your inner monster with nothing but your stripped down, worn out self. You will break down until your throat feels tight and you're gasping for air. You're both equally exhausted and in so much pain. You're just sitting there waiting for dawn, clinging onto the mere hope that it'll be less horrifying. Yes, you are going be so desperate to stop the pain you're feeling and you'll do anything to divert the pain. But please, please hang in there with me for a while more.

There comes a day where the sky is at its best blue and you'll feel yourself shattering in public. You'll bite your lower lip to stop your eyes from forming tears, trying your hardest not to break down in public. Your fingers will be cold and you'll put them in the pockets of your best jeans while masking the obvious fact you're on the verge of crying. Pieces of your heart and soul will begin chipping apart and this is where you're going to pick it all up by yourself. You're going to try to mend yourself in a failing attempt to do so. Tears will stream down your face ; leaving stains on your cheeks and you're going want to stop breathing because the struggle is too painful. But please, please bare with me a little longer.

Don't give up. It's never the time to give up. Of course, it is easier said than done because who's to say what and how you should feel or not. I don't know what you're going through neither do I understand the pain you're feeling. But all I know is that if you're hurting, just take your time for it is okay. The world is already rough and it can be unkind. The last thing that heart of yours need is for you to be wicked it. The heart, the one that took 9 months for your mother to form and grow in her, is meant to love ; especially your entire well-being. You have to trust and believe in it. Just don't give up for you were born to discover places, create your amazing version of art and build your little path. You're going to stumble and fall but please be gentle. You need to know that you really are something and enough. You are loved by someone ; be it a family, a pet or friend. You've come a long way ; went to hell and back. So believe me when I say you really are strong enough to keep going. You got this, warrior.

With much love"


If you're thinking that I have got it all under control, some days I don't but I do take time off to reflect on my life. I've lost people ; friends and family. I've gotten my heart so broken to the point I could physically feel the pain.  Sitting on that warm sand in the picture, I had my passport, on my lap, that held immigration stamps which was the sole proof that I've went out, explored, and conquered. I learned so much ; so many things that I can't possibly type out in one post. But if it's one thing that I learned is you are never alone in this and you're worth the fight 

 

All visuals and words belong to Win W.™ unless stated otherwise.

 

Here’s to all the hours I’ve spent in orchestras, theatres, art galleries, museums, parks, reading tons of literature and creating art. I shamelessly admit to all the money I’ve spent buying books, entrance fees, and spending doing art ; be it writing or drawing. There’s a certain kind of comfort and quietness that art gives someone. It is like how Leonardo da Vinci once said “Painting is poetry that is seen rather than felt, and poetry is painting that is felt rather than seen“. There is a kind of beauty that the art carries with it ; be it a dance, a painting, a picture, a sculpture or a book. It’s as if the artist left a part of his/her soul for you to learn from or to know about. So here’s to the art galleries that comforted little parts of me that I didn’t know how to comfort. Here’s to the orchestras and theatres where it was brought the kind of safety and calmness a wounded soul needs. Here’s to the books and museums that were (still are) my greatest teachers of life and love. My old high school literature teacher was right about art. It reminds you on what it’s like to be human again.

“A man should hear a little music, read a little poetry, and see a fine picture every day of his life, in order that worldly cares may not obliterate the sense of the beautiful which God has implanted in the human soul.” 
― Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

 

All visuals and words belong to Win W.™ unless stated otherwise.

Skin Canvas : Buckingham Palace + London Skyline

(Side note : This is the first time I’ve ever publicize my artwork.

(Side note : This is the first time I’ve ever publicize my artwork.)

Skin Canvas Architecture.

When I was 15, a DSLR camera was given to me by my uncle. A hand-me-down silver camera with 4 filters for the lenses. At 16, I had my own compact that I always carried it around in my handbag. I remembered how I stood hours under the scorching hot sun taking pictures of architecture during the day and how I stood under the moon light taking pictures of architecture during the night. Now, I do it even more often as I could drive. Pictures of skylines and panoramic views, made me pick up my pen today.

I was born being ambidextrous ; the ability to write with both hands. My mom found it difficult to teach me how to write because she dropped me off at school thinking I held my pencil with my right hand but I came home holding my colouring pencils with my left hand instead. Hence, my left hand became the dominant one and then I nurtured my creative side. Age 12, I fell in love with tattoos (I still do, by the way) and got hooked on the TV show Miami Ink.

I drew hearts, wordings, plants, animals, tribal symbols and pretty much anything that pops into my head. I sat down in Kellie’s Castle once and I remembered drawing it based on the picture I’ve taken with one of my cameras. At the age of 16, I wanted to be an architect. What ever picture of a building that I laid my eyes on, I just drew it ; on my table, notebooks and journals.

I never really showed anyone my artwork. Just a handful of people have seen my sketches, paintings and doodles. So here I am, about to share with you my Buckingham Palace + London Skyline Forearm Skin Canvas Architecture artwork.

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I might have missed out the London Bridge and Big Ben but I drew the London Eye and Buckingham Palace (And a building that looks like Westminister Abbey) 😀 It’s not perfect but art isn’t perfect is it? I’ve never been to London so I apologise for the imperfection. I remembered seeing a picture of it once and I got inspired by someone’s drawing before I drew the skyline.

I portray art as one of the many hobbies I do. Art of any form actually ; Painting, photography, prints, drawings, craft, design, performing arts, mixed media etc. I even consider literature into art. What I love most about art is the fact that heals you and you find comfort when you’re doing it. Similarly to how some people find comfort in gardening while I find comfort in sitting on the floor of a bookstore and being engross a book. I find that art expresses a person like how sometimes when I look through the lenses of my cameras, I see the picture differently.

I’ve still have yet to learn how to draw portraits though which I think is one of the toughest thing to paint/draw. So yes, if there’s one thing you didn’t know about me is that, I can draw though not like Monet, Michelangelo or van Gogh. But here’s an up-close shot of my Buckingham Palace skyline.

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Camera Used: Canon Powershot G11
Wrist Candy : Jawbone wrist band
Skin Canvas Artwork : Buckingham Palace
Artist behind it : Winnie W.

(Background : a paint stained wall)