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Enough

Ho Chi Minh City Museum of Fine Arts (27 April 2017)


‘e·nough’

One word that not many of us tell ourselves. I know I haven’t been updating this space much and some of you might think I’ve gotten too busy with my life that I no longer write. That’s not the case. The real reason is that I’ve been having difficulties penning down my cluttered thoughts and I haven’t been getting much sleep to begin with. It doesn’t even help that my body crashed multiple of times which explains the sore throat, pounding fevers etc. So it brings me back to typing this very post right now as I sit here hoping this cup of camomile tea will aid with my sleep tonight.

I have people telling me that my words have inspired them but honestly, I’m not perfect. One of the hardest thing I struggle with is telling myself that I am enough. Not the kind of ‘enough’ that people expect me to be but more so of the kind of ‘enough’ that I know I am. They say that you are your harshest judge and I really am very harsh with myself.

People can tell you that you’re beautiful 100 times a day and if you still don’t believe it, that is the worst. So every day, I do something called “My Little Daily Enoughs” which is something I tell myself at the end of the day. Here are some of my few :

  1. You’ve done enough for today. You did your best in these 24 hours and the next 24 hours are for you to do more
  2. To someone, you’re beautiful enough.
  3. You are enough.

Everyone has their own definitions and versions of ‘being enough’. What I learned is that your flaws are stitched with good intentions. What I also learned is that you should look at the person that loves you the most and try putting yourself in that person’s shoes to see what you look like in their eyes. I do that sometimes with my mum. I do wonder what it is like for her to love such a difficult emotionally wrecked up daughter like me and not a day in my entire life where she complains and dreads about loving me. Bit by bit, I learn to love myself because of how my mother loves me.

If your partner is having a tough time loving himself/herself, do me a favour but love that person more because everyone deserves to end the day knowing that he/she is more than enough. Take it from a person who went to different countries & states just to slowly mend herself with whatever ability and skills she bears. It wasn’t a pretty sight because I was scared to the point where I would cry, waiting in the train to arrive, for I couldn’t hold myself together any longer. Here’s something to remember, if there comes a split second of the day where your insecurities got the better side of you, take a deep breath and feel your heart beating for a bit.

The heart that pumps life to your soul and every part of your living being ; it is doing more than enough for you. I know it’s easier said than done because the brain does have the loudest voice when it comes to things. What is important is that at the end of every day you know that you’re still breathing, that itself is a victory of its own. Small victories which are better than nothing at all. Remember, you really are enough ❤️

 

Chocolate Banana & Avocado Bread

Today, I woke up with the determination that I will successfully make one a banana and avocado loaf. I have left over Lindt 90% dark chocolate so I thought, ‘Why not put chocolate in it too’. I had a slight panic when I realized I didn’t have my measuring cups with me until I saw a good ol’ coffee cup. Yes, I used a coffee cup for measurements because I didn’t have measuring cups but please kindly do use measuring cups for accuracy. As I was creating this recipe mentally, I was thinking about the measurements and fitting all my estimations into them. Thank God that it turned out well.

I was also thinking whether kids would like it as I’m a swimming teacher. I’ve been trying my best to gain my appetite back after losing it for these past couple of weeks. So what a better way to treat kids with clean eats by making your own bread and spreading the little joy.  Ladies and gents, I hereby present…

CHOCOLATE BANANA & AVOCADO BREAD RECIPE

 

INGREDIENTS

  • 1 cup of flour (all purpose or gluten free if you prefer)
  • 3/4 cup of whole wheat flour (If you don’t have this, just use plain flour)
  • 3 teaspoon of baking powder
  • 1/2 teaspoon of baking soda
  • 1/2 teaspoon of cinnamon powder
  • 1/4 teaspoon of salt
  • 1 teaspoon of vanilla extract
  • 2 ripe medium bananas (mashed)
  • 2 eggs
  • 1 large avocado (mashed)
  • 1/4 cup of brown sugar (you can use honey or agave nectar ; you can use 8 teaspoons of sugar if you don’t want it to be too sweet)
  • 3 squares of 90% Lindt dark chocolate (roughly chopped)

INSTURCTIONS

  1. Preheat the oven to 180°C and line your bread pan with parchment paper or grease it with butter.
  2. In a large bowl, cream the avocado and sugar until light and fluffy with a whisk or a fork.
  3. Add in the mashed banana, vanilla extract and eggs and mix it into the creamed avocado.
  4. Sift the flour, baking powder, baking soda, cinnamon powder, and salt together.
  5. Combine the dry mixture with the avocado mixture until it’s thick.
  6. Add the roughly chopped chocolate into the mixture.
  7. Transfer the mixture into your bread pan.
  8. Bake at 180°C for 35-45 minutes or a toothpick inserted in comes out clean. If the top gets brown faster, cover it with foil until the bread is completely baked.
  9. Cool the loaf completely before enjoying!

 

Tada! All done! I hope you get to try out this recipe and tell me what you think about it. Tip when it comes to cooking/baking, have a little faith in yourself. Trust me, I don’t create recipes because I’m good at it. It takes a lot of failures for me to perfect one recipe or to be confident enough to just wing it in the kitchen. I really hope you enjoy making this as much as I did. The end result was worth it 🙂

The Contest Speech

Superheroes

Superheroes wear capes and come with superpowers but what if, I were to tell you right now that you are your own superhero as well? If you don’t have the ability to fly, that’s okay. But what’s important is that what lies in here points at my heart is what makes you a superhero. You’re probably going to tell me “I don’t have what it takes to be a superhero, Winnie.” Well, I believe this is untrue. Each and every one of you actually has what it takes to be a superhero.
You’ve probably read books to tell you to look on the positive side of things, on soul mending etc. Well, reading it and actually doing it, are two completely different things. Truthfully, no one told you that picking yourself back up is difficult. It’s going to be your most terrifying, tiring and exhausting thing you’ve ever had to do in your life. Instead, they tell you “It’s going to be okay.” There are people who go to a psychiatrist and therapy sessions for help. Then, there are the people who have to do it all by themselves. They have to dust off the gravel from their knees, polish their worn out armor, sew their wounds back and hoist their fragile soul back up and continue the fight.
Maybe that’s you right now as you listen to me speak up here on stage. Maybe you’ve had that convincing thought that tells you to give up and end it all. Maybe some part of you is so broken that you no longer can mend it back. But let me tell you that it is okay, for it only makes you much more a superhero.
When I was 14, I talked my friend Jayson down from jumping off the ledge. I told him that he wasn’t alone in this and that everything will eventually be better. I told him that if he couldn’t fight for himself, allow someone else to do it for him. If you notice, no superhero is alone when fighting the villains. Heck, even Batman has his own Alfred in his life. Behind every superhero, there is someone who will always there for him/her. Always.
All I’m saying is that you have to have a little faith in yourself. You have to. Not for anyone else but for the fighter that lives in you. Believe in yourself because you can. If you cant love yourself, then allow me to make a little room in your heart for me to love. One thing I’ve learned from my heart is that a heart is more than just an organ that gives the body life. It was made to love and to mend whatever that is broken inside you. Of course it will take time but just like my mother said “Patience is the virtue”
This year, I fell apart and it was the worst phase I’ve ever faced in my entire life. Before I could even make it to the seat at my psychiatrist’s office, I broke down on the floor. I cried so hard, she came rushing over me. She held me in her arms and I was begging her for I didn’t know how much more pain my heart could take. Then, last weekend I turned 22 and I realized, “Wow, actually I made it this far in life!” Despite still being a little, shaky, everyday is a new day to start fresh, am I right?
So if you’re ever in doubt, just look at me right now. I’m such a flawed person and just like you, I too, have my own wars and battles to overcome. I’m not saying that I know what kind of pain you’re going through or what type of battles you have to fight. I can’t say I know exactly how you feel but I’m saying that I understand what it’s like. But hey, you want to know a little secret? All the great superheroes have to bleed, get punched, beaten to the ground and with whatever strength they have left in them, they still manage to hoist themselves back up again. It’s not easy:  I have to admit and it’s going to be very exhausting. But it’s going to be worth it. So go on, be you, be your own superhero. You have an amazing life, and a very beautiful heart with the fighting spirit of a superhero.
Amy Poehler once said in her Harvard speech, “Continue to share your heart even if it’s broken”. Share it because believe me, it doesn’t cost a cent to be kind and give a little love. And you’re not alone in this so keep fighting, warrior. Don’t give up for you’re much stronger than you think. You are worth the fight. You got this, Superhero.
– 2016
All visuals and words belong to Win W.™ unless stated otherwise.

“So if love is a collaborative work of art, then love is an aesthetic experience. Love is unpredictable, love is creative, love requires communication and discipline, it is frustrating and emotionally demanding. And love involves both joy and pain. Ultimately, each experience of love is different. … This version of love is not about winning or losing someone’s affection. Instead, it requires that you trust your partner and talk about things when trusting feels difficult, which sounds so simple, but is actually a kind of revolutionary, radical act. This is because you get to stop thinking about yourself and what you’re gaining or losing in your relationship, and you get to start thinking about what you have to offer. This version of love allows us to say things like, “Hey, we’re not very good collaborators. Maybe this isn’t for us.” Or, “That relationship was shorter than I had planned, but it was still kind of beautiful.” The beautiful thing about the collaborative work of art is that it will not paint or draw or sculpt itself. This version of love allows us to decide what it looks like.

Mandy Len Catron: A Better Way To Talk About Love

Avocado Chocolate Chip Cookies

I spent my Saturday afternoon baking avocado cookies and totally…creating a recipe. It’s ‘Macros March’ for me and I was desperately craving for desserts. The next best thing my mind decides is why not I make a healthier version of cookies so I don’t feel that bad eating too much. I know they don’t really look the best but hey, Mun Choong approved of it so…ladies and gentlemen, here’s my

AVOCADO CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES RECIPE

INGREDIENTS

  • 1 cup of gluten free flour
  • 2 tablespoons of whole wheat flour
  • 1/2 teaspoon of baking powder
  • 1/4 teaspoon of salt
  • 5 tablespoons of coconut sugar (you can substitute it with brown sugar)
  • 1 egg
  • 1/2 vanilla extract
  • 3/4 cups of dark chocolate chips
  • 1 1/2 of avocado (mashed)

INSTURCTIONS

  1. Preheat the oven to 160°C and line your tray with parchment paper
  2. In a large bowl, cream the avocado and sugar until light and fluffy with a whisk or a fork.
  3. Add in the vanilla extract and egg and mix it into the creamed avocado.
  4. Sift the flour, baking powder and salt and add to the avocado mixture.
  5. Combine well until batter is sticky then using a spoon, fold in your chocolate chips.
  6. Using a small spoon, scoop the batter and drop it on the parchment paper on the tray.
  7. Bake 12-15 minutes or until it is lightly browned.
  8. Completely cool off the cookies before serving!

 

Voila! Done. It was easy and so fun to make as well. As you can tell, all my recipes don’t take much time to make so feel free to share your feedback after trying this out so I could improve the recipe. I haven’t tried substituting the sugar with agave nectar or honey yet but if you, dear reader, ever do substitute it, do let me know by leaving me a comment at the bottom of this post. I hope you enjoy making this AND eating the cookies as much as I love doing so.