” (Just know that right now I’m wearing sweatpants and an old purple bikini top with a chilled bottle of Riesling alongside a half filled wine glass sit next to me on the wooden table. It’s 2 am and I’m writing this in a hotel room by the beach with my favorite song playing out loud because I desperately needed to escape.)
A broken heart changes you. The nights that you fall apart and all those mornings you spent gluing back the pieces, praying that it will last. I don’t know how people do it but I don’t have much when it comes to it. All I have is just things I’ve learned from enduring pain. The hurt that comes the pain of a broken heart is soul-engulfing ; almost like a massive black hole sucking every ounce of you. As I sit here on this king size bed with fluffy white pillows, I came to a realization that this is what it means to have a heart. To feel to love and to have it broken.
Love is supposed to make you feel scared yet it’s a comforting feeling. Love is flawed and it’s difficult. Love only when you’re ready not because everyone’s in a relationship and you’re not. Do it because you want to, not cause you need to. Love isn’t a job and it’s not a burden. It brings joy yet it brings energy. No doubt it’s going to eat you up but enduring pain is about the journey in building yourself. Settle for someone who you can have deep conversations with ; The kind where it’s soul satisfying. Settle for someone who reads. If a man feels inferior just because you’re building your empire, just know that you’re much better off without him. Take your time because it’s not a competition. Above all, love yourself. You are capable of loving again. Maybe the next one isn’t going to turn out how you planned it to be and that’s okay. No relationship is perfect. You’re not entitled to demand for perfection when you’re so flawed. Embrace your scars and the pain will eventually go.
There will be days where you’re going to miss getting forehead kisses or having a warm hand to hold yours. There will be days where you’ll see couples around you and there’s a spike of bitterness within you. There will be nights where you’ll ask yourself what is wrong with you that no man wants to love you. Don’t let these moments be the reason why you should be in a relationship. This is not how love works. You don’t love a man because he gives you forehead kisses. You love him for the soul that lives within him. You love him because despite all the flaws he has, you chose to love him. I wouldn’t trade all these pain and hurt for something else because I am who I am today for all these scars I have. I learned from all of them. Everything they left behind, they taught me ; they’re stitched together with good intentions.
I could go on but my eyelids are heavy as sleep calls. Exhaustion has settled in. So…Breathe, baby girl. Feel that heart of yours that is beating. Love that soul of yours that lives within you. Be you and love you.”
All visuals and words belong to Win W.™ unless stated otherwise.