Dear self,

Dear self,

This is the happy Winnie deciding to write to you because what a better way to write it than on my blog ; Even if it’s weird talking to myself here. So here goes…

You need to know that there will be days where you won’t know what it’s like anymore and you’ll find yourself breaking down with your hands covering your ears while you cry. There will be days where there is no longer anyone to turn to. There will be days your heart will break and the hurt is going to be painful. In those days, you’re going to be alone and it will feel like your world is crashing and you no longer can grab hold of things. Bottom line is, you’re going to feel like shit.

I need you to always remember that you got this. You really, really do. It won’t be easy but you’ve come a long way and I’m so proud of you. Be gentle with yourself. Pray in  those dark times. Watch your speeches, business lectures and interviews from all the famous schools. Read ; fill the cracks with words. Blast the music and run ; clock in the hours into training. Dive into the pool and swim those laps ; the water will shut everything off. Hold up that squash racket and focus in the court. Drink chai latte, chamomile tea and juice.  Trust me, they’re going to make you feel so much better.

There will also be times where you’ll have to cut off people from your life. In those times, you’re going to have to do it. You need to because you need those people in your life to keep weighing you down. You got to do you. And there will be days where you’ll stare in the mirror and your insecurities will start eating the living daylights out of you. In those days, tell yourself you’re beautiful and that you’re looking good. Say nice things to that reflection. Wear make up and massage lotion into your skin slowly. You’ll feel better, trust me on this.

It’s going to take time so take all the time that you need to heal. Happiness is your own responsibility and you’re the only one who is in control of your own mind, emotions and well-being. You’re stitched together with good intentions and you’re not your own monster. Please remember that in those dark times when you’re battling with yourself. Yes, you’ll be alone but please, please don’t forge that you’re loved and someone out there is so happy that she/he have you in his/her life.

Above all, you first. Love yourself. Mend yourself first. You before anyone else. It’s not selfish. You have to save and protect yourself first before doing it for someone else. You know who you are and who you want to be. You know how to get there. You know what to do. This is just a gentle reminder in case things get out of hand.

There’s a difference between what you want and what you need. This…you need to never forget. You got this, baby girl. You do.

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