From The Heart of Your Coach

“Sweetheart, I know a breaking heart when I see one. You just broke down half way while training…that is your heart breaking right there. You’ve been my athlete for 11 years and this is my first time watching you give up and cry in the middle of training. It breaks my heart watching my athlete that I’ve been coaching and training, just collapse and break down in the middle of a training session. You don’t have to tell me what exactly happened but I roughly heard what happened.

Well I couldn’t speak on his behalf but I can tell you this. You can endure this pain. I can tell you gave a lot in this relationship, that’s why it hurts so much. Your heart loved so much and now it’s all gone. Lately, you’ve been avoiding people. You’ve been avoiding going to birthday parties or events. You may hide your face with make up but you can’t hide the obvious fact that you’ve not been sleeping, hardly eating and that you’re sick from me. When I saw you breaking down just now, I asked myself ‘What kind of person could break one of my strongest athlete until she just broke down while training?’

I know that you’ve given up but you’ve come this far. Don’t give up. Don’t give up because of that son of a bitch, pardon my French, who broke your heart. It’s his loss. When I saw you breaking down just now, honestly speaking, I don’t even think he deserves your forgiveness because I bet he’s probably not even that sorry to even begin with. I don’t even know how he could sleep at night knowing that he broke you like this. I wish that the world has more forgiving people like you, Winnie even when you’re so hurt.

You’re the true mark of maturity because even when he hurt you, you understand his situation instead of trying to hurt him back. You even forgive him! Take it from me and no one else ; you are one hell of a person. I’m your coach and I’ve watched you pick yourself up countless of times when you fall. Remember I told you that the sport wouldn’t give up on the athlete but it is the athlete that gave up on the sport? Well, life hasn’t given up on you yet so don’t give up on yourself. I know that life’s an unfair bitch and there are always going to be men like him. And there will also always be pricks out there but sweetheart, you’ve come a long way. A very long way.

Through all the visible and non-visible cuts, bruises, pain and hurt ; I’ve seen it all in the past 11 years of being your coach. Your friends are going to tell you to move on but you know what? Fuck them. As if it is that easy to just forget something that was real to your heart. I know it’s difficult and you’ve given up all hope. I know that you no longer want to go on and some people might think you’re being overly dramatic but let me tell you something…

You’re brave. So very brave. You take relationships seriously and you don’t fool around and not many people actually do that now. When you love, you love with all your heart and that, Winnie, is the most noble and admirable thing anyone could do. When someone hurt you, you forgive and that is most matured thing ever. You can endure this. I know you can. As a coach, even you can admit to this because you teach kids how to swim, you don’t give up on your athlete. Whether he/she has given up or lost in the competition, a coach never gives up on his/her athlete.

Don’t give up on yourself. It’s going to hurt everyday but you can get through this. I’m proud of you. I’m the world’s proudest coach to have you as my athlete. Some day, I hope he wakes up and realize that he gave up an amazing girl. I don’t hope but I know he’ll regret it. He lost the one girl who loved him with her heart and I bet on my life that he will never find someone like you. Believe me. I’m a man. I know how men think. Never give up, Winnie. Not now, not ever because you’re a fighter and you, of every person I’ve known and every athlete I’ve coached, got this. I know you really do.”

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