What do you do when you come home and it doesn’t feel like home anymore? You never did get along with your siblings and neither do your parents have the best marriage on earth. What do you do when you friends are no longer your friends? When was the last time someone showed up at your doorstep to just give you a hug and tell you “You don’t have to tell me anything but I know you can do this and everything will be okay”? It’s been years someone actually done that. What do you do when the one person you need to talk to the most is buried 6 feet under? What do you do when you have no one to run to? When you’re happy and you want to tell your friends, they shut you up and say “Yeah we get it. You have a boyfriend and that you’re happy”. What happened to friends where they’re happy because you’re happy? What do you actually do in these situations?
You break down and cry. It’s almost like a routine. You break down, you pick yourself back up and then off you go. It’s a cycle. I guess you have no choice but to be independent. What else is there for you to do? You only have yourself. You siblings have never really stopped to ask you what’s wrong before neither do your parents too. So that’s the only way. You have to be independent for yourself. People are going to tell you that they’re going to be there but those are just words. They don’t actually do it. And they’re going to tell you to let go and move on as if it’s that easy. Everyone is going to advice you but you don’t need it. You just need someone who is willing to sit down with you and just listen.
You have to be there for yourself. You have to be proud of yourself. You have to. It’s your only option and the only choice that you’re given. Because what else can you possibly do?