Wide-awake

For 3 hours, you tried to fall asleep but you failed. You looked at your phone ; 2.00 a.m. You got up from your bed and slowly you retrieved the car keys. You drove into the quiet night. The automatic gate of the large house opened as if to welcome you. You parked your car in the car porch and got down. You opened the door and a Great Dane and a St. Bernard came greeting you. You patted them and made your way upstairs in the dark. You’re dressed in your sleeping clothers ; a loose tank top and shorts. You made your way to the large bedroom at the highest floor and turned on the bedside lamp. The room lighted up and you went over to the stereo. Placing a mixed tape in, you pressed played.

The only way you know to keep your thoughts from eating you alive was by focusing on music. Dashboard Confessional – Belle Of The Boulevard was playing on replay. You stacked up the pillows on the bed and leaned on them. The dogs joined you in large bed ; cuddling next to you. You took your phone out of the bag you brought with you. 3.00 a.m., it read. You’re exhausted but you can’t seem to fall asleep. Your thoughts are flooding your mind and slowly began eating you alive. All your insecurities, your worries and doubts came gushing in ; blaring. You rolled over to switch off the light and you laid on the bed, staring at the ceiling as the music plays softly. You have to be awake in another 2 hours for work. Tiredly, you slowly close your eyes because that’s the only way to make your thoughts from screaming.

The last thing you heard was ‘Life is always hard for the belle of the boulevard‘ softly playing.

 

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