Cry and pray for sanity

“Do you miss her?”

“Of course I do, Win. Every God damned day. Do you miss him?”

“To be honest, a little. It gets less than the day before and the day before that”

“That’s good. He’s poison anyways.”

“Be nice. He’s…”

“Human. I get it Win. I get that he’s human but that doesn’t give him any right to hurt you. You’re human too. You forget that you too have a heart that is beating. You know what Kev always told us guys when you’re not around? He said that we should date a girl who is like you. Who is as forgiving as you are and who is way out of our league. And he said we should always date someone who is too good for us. That way it’ll make you a better person. A relationship is suppose to make you a better person. I can’t see you cry anymore. I’ve seen you break down so much that I swear, if I could trade places with you, I would ; just to take all the pain you’re feeling away.

Do you know how heart breaking to hear you say that you’re used to getting hurt, Win? You’re always in pain. And I don’t want you to be anymore. So what if you’re a virgin? So what if you don’t smoke? So what if you’re out of his league? It’s his loss. I’m not saying that you’re not allowed to miss him and maybe to you he’s a nice guy. I get that. I can’t see him the same way as you do because I’m your best friend.

Our parents love it when you come over because you always bring the best out of us. Some of us are no longer suicidal because you were the one who stood there giving us hugs. We’re not longer depressed because you saved us. So Winnie, please I beg you to never forget that you’re an amazing person. You’re so smart and so beautiful. Take it from a guy who has known you since you wore braces and had short hair. You can be his friend and you can forgive him but Win, whatever you do, you have to think about yourself. You never judge anyone and you’re always kind to people even when they’ve hurt you.

And I don’t know how you do it but you’re one kick ass warrior. No matter how much of shit is thrown at you, you can still stand back up and fight again. I’m proud of you, Win. We’re always proud of you. Yeah no doubt you’re a little broken but then again who isn’t broken right now? But how often do you have a girl best friend who plays video games, who is athletic, who loves cars, who draws tattoos, who is a great cook, who accepts people for who they are, who is smart, who is beautiful and who is so kind? You deserve better. So chin and head up and show off your perfect smile.”

“Thanks *smiles*”

” *smiles* that’s the smile I want to see.”

 

– 2012.

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