Have you ever wondered what it feels like for the other person to look at you when both of you are no longer friends? Well I did today. I was surrounded by my old classmates and then the girl whom I once was friends with ; well one of my friend just told me to walk away knowing the pain in me will rise.
I had to pretend that I didn’t know her and trying my best to shut off all our memories we had together. The way we would sing in the hallways and when we would giggle in class together and the obvious fact that she was my first friend ever in college. Now, someone has replaced my place in her life ; being her best friend now. There was many reason why we didn’t talk anymore and I know part of me still wish that maybe if she didn’t push me away making me secondary to her.
Whoever said that “Let it go and move on” obvious never really knew how hard it is to do so because hell, it takes so much energy to tell yourself not to cry and put the memories aside. I don’t blame her though because I know she’s happier now but I guess, I’ll never tell her how much I miss being her friend ; being able to talk about anything. So the most rational thing I ever did was just turn around and walk home and plugged in my iPod before the memories decide to flood in like a hurricane.
But I did sometimes drift into thoughts on whether she ever thought of me as a great friend back then or whether she ever thought I was doing fine or not. Well, it’s time to wake up and build a cast over that wound and seal it forever. We’r strangers with just memories we once shared.